Thursday, November 18, 2010


Relationships can be so hard sometimes. I have this boyfriend who likes to infer what my emotions are based on what we've discussed. 99% of the time they are way out in left field. I could be totally happy and he'll say, "Why aren't you happy with me." It's so frustrating. We just underwent another of those conversations. Yet again, I'm taking care of everything that he's too lazy to do. Laundry, vacuuming, and ordering his prescriptions online. On top of it all, he's got this never ending sore throat that his doctor has treated several times with no acutally diagnosis or relief from the symptoms. Every day for the last 3 months I've had to hear about his God-Damn sore throat. At this point, I'm pretty sure he's convinced himself that he's got throat cancer! Sometimes I think he creates the symptoms. If it were something bacterial or virual, I'd have caught it by now. But, I haven't. My guess is that he's got allergies with a post-nasal drip. He's an absolute hyponchondriac with OCD. I really don't want to spend my day off being pissed, but here I am. Pissed. Super pissed.

This is the hard part of recovery for me. Maintaining relationships. Any relationships. Friends, lovers, family. It's not easy for me. My self-centeredness comes out often. I've prayed to have it removed and put it in my God box but it keeps popping it's ugly head out. None of these things are about me, but then they all are. We can't even have a nice day because he's constantly obsessing about imaginary symptoms that actually go away when he takes the appropriate allergy medication. Need I say more?

I'm sure more will be revealed.

1 comment:

  1. The alcoholic mind is interesting. I used to accept all the blame shoved my way. Now I realize that I don't have to accept any of it. Detaching with love was a good thing for me to get in recovery.