“The Shack” is turning out to be an amazing book. I didn’t expect it to be anything like it is. It really makes me want to strive harder to make a better conscious contact with God and to try to see God in everything. I’d really like to gain insight along with that kind of super strong relationship that is all-trusting and all-knowing. I really feel like I’m missing out on that, but I also know that it’s a definite possibility for me to have; and just knowing that makes me feel a little better.
Some days I feel like everything is falling apart and then some days I feel like things couldn't be better. I know that neither situation is reality and that it's actually somewhere in between. I just wish I could handle the highs and lows a little better than I do. Then again, maybe I'm meant to cry all those tears I generally hold in. Maybe it's good for me to spend a day in misery and get past it even though it feels like my world is falling apart. Certainly I don't have all the answers but each day get better and I learn a little more about myself.
I've really been putting things off lately and have made a commitment to get back on track. I really need to get cracking on my step work that I've been putting of. And, I need to get my student loans taken care of. Consolidation is probably the route I'll take but I'm not exactly 100% ready to make that call yet. After all, they're already stealing their money back by garnishing my paychecks. Again, all my fault. I suppose that had I actually called the U.S. Dept. of Ed. sometime in the last 10 years, I might have a better grasp on the entire situation. But, it is what it is and it's getting easier to think about each day.
I haven't been feeling really grateful lately either. I've pretty much been miserable. Yet, I know how many things I have that I'm grateful for. Could be pms. I do like to blame everything on mother nature!! =)