It's been so long since I've had this many days off in a row that I almost forgot what doing something for myself felt like. I slept in until almost noon, lounged around with my blueberry coffee, got my haircut, did a bit of shopping and went out for a nice dinner with my boyfriend. The grand-finale of the evening was the Big Book study I attend each Thursday. It happens to be at the treatment facility I attended a few years ago. Tonight the meeting was particularily rowdy... I continually try to encourage people to go to the meeting but no one ever shows up. Their reputation has apparently preceeded them. Not the facility, but the bad behavior of the clients there. It's no wonder that people refuse to support this meeting after all this time, it seems to only get worse.
Don't get me wrong, there is something in every meeting that I can take away, but tonight was especially disruptive. No, that's not enough, it was a 3 ring cirucs. I like to think that everyone in rehab has their asshole moment. Like, when I lived there and insisted on wearing pig-tail buns in my hair and my pink fuzzy slippers to every meeting, or when the girl busted ass on the hard plastic chair (come on we all know it sounds like a trumpet in this circumstance), or when someone coined the new phrase, "pick up a chipper and put down the liquor". I just have to keep thinking to myself that they'll grow out of it... I did, doesn't that mean everyone has the potential?
I know there is some humor in all of this but they really do need support. Not only to enrich the overall quality of the meeting, but also to encourage the new comer that the miracle happens. They need people who are willing to share, visit, and sponsor. Right now, it's just stale. I guess every group has it's up and down cycle - I just pray that this one doesn't last much longer!
Inner Conficts - Finding my own way
6 hours ago