Monday, March 15, 2010

Time will tell...

I've been working so much lately that I'm a bit out of sorts with myself. Switching back and forth from overnights to days is taking a toll on me.

All the moving is finally done but I've yet to finish unpacking. Hopefully, that is something I can get finished this week. I only have 3 more boxes to take care of and it just feels like a chore at this point; which is why it keeps getting put off.

I'm feeling a little indifferent tonight. I just finished reading a few posts on http://4thavenueblues.blogspot.com/ It's a blog I've been reading for a few years now on and off about someone who struggles with addiction and a few other things (but dont we all?) and he's relapsed. It's happened before but I guess that after following this little world of his that I got attached to whether or not he was still sober. It's so easy to sit here and judge and point out all the things people are doing wrong and recognizing their excuses and reservations. Which is where I'm at right now. I'm downright disappointed.

It makes me think of all the people I've lost during these 3 short years I've been sober along with all the people to come. My first sponsor told me, "You've got to walk over the bodies." Such a straight forward statement yet so hard to accomplish.

2 comments:

  1. Hi, and thanks for commenting on my blog. Its helped me to find YOUR blog. I love the line about stepping over the bodies. It brings it home ina real way. We are so lucky to me the walking, and not the walked-over.

    :)

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  2. Thanks =) My former sponsor said that to me at a time when my sister was relapsing and I was really upset and definitely affected by it. That little phrase really helped me look at things in a different perspective with strength and it gave me the ability to begin to let go.

    Today, they're both out there. The sponsor and my sister. I'm still friends with them both but I do it from a safe distance.

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